I Want to Know

How do you all you lovely moms and ladies keep your houses clean?  I mean, really.  Do you have a list you go by every day?  does it just bug you so bad when it's messy that you must clean it OR ELSE?
  I struggle.  The days that the house is clean, I haven't accomplished anything else.  When I've accomplished other things, the house is a mess.  If I work in the yard, the house suffers.  If I work in the house, the yard suffers.  I can't seem to find that happy medium.
  I know it's not the most important thing in the world and that spending the time with my kids, teaching them, playing with them, is by far more important.  But I love it clean.  You would think it would be enough to motivate me.  Right now, this picture would look very different.  There is a beehive (empty of course) in the middle of the room, flowers that were picked from outside on the floor, books on every cushion of the couch and it's dusty.  I need to just go do it. But really, if you have a way that works for you, tell me about it.  I want to see if it works for me.  Not just cleaning either; organizing, cleaning, keeping it clean, whatever.

Hello??

Soooo, I'm just wondering if anybody really looks at this blog??  Not offended if nobody does, but thinking about deleting it...

I Love this part of Me...

I love being a member of this church.  It is amazing.  I love the ways that it makes me grow and think.  I love that I have a different perspective of life.  I love knowing what is waiting for us on the other side, what happened before we came here.  I have had this brought to my attention this last week with the passing of a friend.  I feel so blessed to have a part of this church.  I need to stop complaining about what I've been asked to do, or thinking of excuses to not to those things, and just be grateful.  What a blessing it is in my life.

One Step Closer...Hopefully

    One thing that I cannot say about myself at the moment is that I'm organized.  It's been a while since I've been able to say such a thing.  And I don't like it.  Before I got married, I thought myself very organized.  I would clean my room, organize, then reorganize my closet until I thought it was the most functional.  I don't know that my husband would ever believe it.  Because, I have turned into a pile-maker.  The mail, is always in one giant pile.  Our office is...piles of....lots of stuff.  The laundry...sometimes piles of clean clothes, sometimes not.  But, I know where everything is, most of the time.  But, I am tired of sifting through the piles to find something.  I came to this realization, I think, last August.  And that's when it started.  I started in our back closet.  De-junked it and put things in containers and boxes.  Moved through the upstairs and had it pretty well done.  I don't always do so well at keeping it up, but I feel better about it than I did before.  I think we did the playroom right after Christmas, which was awesome.  But then, it was time for the office.  I'm still on it.  I've been reading websites, blogs, books, everything, to see what people say about organizing and decluttering your life.  This, I feel has become quite necessary this year.  Two kids really threw me off last year and I just felt it reeling out of control.   Then Phil got called to be the ward clerk, then I got called to be the relief society secretary. So, organization has become really important to me recently and I've got to get a handle on it.
    I realized that I have too much, stuff, and it's everywhere.  So, I've gone through and cleaned out our filing systems, thrown a whole bunch of stuff out, and you'd never know it.  So, I'm putting my 'stuff' in one binder.  And I'm calling it my 'command center.'  It's going to be where I keep track of losing weight, projects that I want to finish, educational stuff I do with the kids, a bill payment schedule and tracker, a to-do list, goals, things to do for my calling, and everything and anything else that I try to keep track of, but all in ONE place!  I'm excited about it.  Still consolidating everything, but I think it's coming along nicely.

And so I've decided to make a 'Family Command Center'.  This is where the laminated weekly menu and grocery list is, a cleaning schedule, our family calendar, a Family Home Evening Schedule, a Babysitters Central folder, and it's still being worked on.  Eventually it will also have our family emergency plan and a few other things in it.  Hopefully this will help.  It's making me feel a little more organized, and loving it!

And she turns One...

Where did it go?  Seriously, I don't remember a ton of it.  But I think it was OK fun.  What I do remember....
Her delivery was awesome.  Truly painful with no meds, but I'm totally going to do it again.  I think it was better for both of us.  I was honestly surprised that she was a whole pound smaller than Ella was.  I don't think I'll ever forget when Phil told me that she didn't have a hand and holding her and crying with Phil as we thought about what might lay ahead for her, the doctor telling me it was OK, she was still perfect, then crying some more until my parents came.  Bless them.  They came when they heard me in pieces over the phone.  It was like, ten at night.  I can still feel her soft, new-baby skin and smell her sweet breath.  She was such a sweet, pleasant baby.  I do remember wondering if I could truly handle another kid when Ella went nuts on me for a few weeks.  Lots of nights crying when Phil got home and the girls were sleeping.  Still sad about her hand, and nervous I wasn't doing enough for both of them.  Afraid, that my husband would think I had completely lost it.  Bless his big heart for being so patient with me and just holding me while we stood in the kitchen and I cried, more than once.
     And now, she is the most busy, curious, happy, sweet, gives the best hugs in the world, 8-toothed one year old.  Man I love my kids.  Some days, I still wonder if I really want another one.  But there are those blessed glimpses of this blue-eyed, funny, spunky little girl that makes me want five more, just like her.

She's now 3...

She's three.  Two was nothing.  I struggle with her newfound sass, some days.  Others, I laugh at it, which is probably not in my best interest, but if I don't laugh, I'll get mad.  What can I say, she's funny.

Something I could Never Do:

The Military.  I recently have been watching The Guardian.  It came out in like, 2006, I think.  I think I watched it once when it came out on video, but I despised the ending so much that I didn't watch it again and said it was a horrible movie.
I borrowed it from my family just to give it another shot.  Phil was working late nights and I was tired of our movies and nothing on TV.  Still don't like the ending.  Phil would tell you that I must be obsessed with this movie.  I think it has stayed in our VCR for like, two week now.  Truth be told, I'm too lazy to find something else to watch.  But I do suddenly enjoy this movie now.  There are other movies similar that have made me feel the same, but I have a tremendous support for the people who actually do this!  Not just Coast Guard swimmers, but ARMY, Navy, all of them.  This is something I could never do.  And I'm so glad that there are men and women out there who are willing to do it, choose to do it.  I'm pretty sure boot camp would put me six feet under.

Today:

I feel like there's a lot to do.  I've recently stumbled on so many good ideas and projects that I want to do.  Particularly having to do with archiving, organizing, things to do with my kids, home improvement/decorating, family time.  Some of it, needs to be done now, some will have to wait until we are for sure moving or building on.  Some of it, spurred by events that have taken place recently.  We found out on Monday that another family friend has passed away, way to early in life.  This will make the sixth death of a family member or friend in a year.  We can't decide if this is just part of growing up, or if this is truly unusual.  Anyway, that night, I went and bought an accordion file, and I've named it our 'I love You' File. Inside it will eventually be, a will, and any other information that would be important for someone to have in the event that anything should happen to us.  Stuff like that.
I've learned that I thrive on lots to do.  If I have nothing to do, it makes for long, boring days.

Meet WALL-E.  We recorded the movie a few weeks back for Ella, and who knew she would love it so much.  But she did.  And one night I pulled the rice cooker out of the cupboard to get to something else.  Well, she swiped that thing off the cupboard and squealed, "It's WALL-E!"  She dragged that thing around for an hour.  Pretty funny.  I love that she has such a great imagination.  Creative girl. Ever since, she's been on the hunt for the perfect EVE.  I'm sure she'll come up with something.

Nothing but...

LAUNDRY!  Of all the house chores that must be done, why can't laundry fold and put itself away?!  I've never been a huge fan of laundry.  And yet, I can't really tell you why this is.  Not like its hard.  You pull it out of a machine that did the hard part for you.  Bless my dear husband that puts up with finding the laundry on the couch most of the time.
  I'm working on turning my house into the 'magic' house.  You know, the laundry magically finds itself folded perfectly in the drawers it goes in and the bed is always made, the rooms are all picked up, the dishwasher is always ready to go, the toilets are clean.  You know, that kind of house.  It may take me a while.  I do have the beds made most of the time, but that's all I have to say.
  But last night, right after I finished getting the girls fed, and found my husband was going to be later than he had planned and was going to miss Bishopric meeting, my cell phone rang.  The number didn't look familiar, but I picked it up anyway.  It was a really nice lady.  And she and her husband wanted to come look at the house.  In about mmmm, twenty minutes.  Can you panic attack?  I put in the movie for the girls, put them in their jammies, and ran.  I mean RAN!  I was sweating before they got there.  But, I must say, waking up to a clean house, was wonderful.  But then I came downstairs and saw the overflowing basket of clean, but now wrinkled clothes.  I meant to fold them last night, I really did.

It's Been a While...

I can't believe how fast life gets away from me.  It's been a busy last couple weeks.  To follow up on my last post, I did get some new pictures taken of the girls.  Still working on getting a family picture.  I enjoy photography.  I love having this camera that allows me to capture my girls whatever they are doing.  And having those pictures to look back on whenever I want.  What a blessing.

Needing to Update...

I'm feeling the urge to update this week.  Clean out and update the filing cabinet, take current pictures.  I want a picture of me and my hubby.  We haven't had one taken of just us since we were engaged.  Need new pictures of the girls, and family pictures, on both sides of the family.  I feel like I could make a list a few miles long, and yet there never feels like there is enough time for any of it.  Is it just me?  Time used to pass so slowly, and now it just flies!  I can't believe how much can happen in so little time.  For instance, all of a sudden, this one, to the right, is walking everywhere.  She's not even one quite yet and she is cruising.  Today, on the way home church, Ella sang five little monkeys to me in the car.  She's never done that before and it was awesome!  I can't believe that in two short years, she'll be close to going to school.  Oh!  I can't even talk about it.

Oh yes, it's going to be good

     This is the invitation for Little E's birthday party.  She's turning, 3, if you couldn't tell.  Our baby is three.  Whoa.
Anywho, can you tell what kind of party we are having?  I couldn't help myself.  She watches Toy Story 3, at least five times a week.  And she loves Jessie.
   One of my goals this year is to make my family know that they are special to me.  And what better day to start than their birthday!
   So, for her birthday, and I only put this because I  know she won't see it, she is getting a Jessie hat, a Jessie doll, a Sheriff Woody doll and Bullseye.  They're just plush things, but I think she will love them.  The girls will have a hat like Jessie, and the boys will get one like the Sheriff.  I think they'll have fun.  I hope so.  We'll have pizza from Pizza Planet and then, well, that's all I have planned.  Starting now so it's super fun and stress-less.  Presents are ordered, cake is designed (on paper), and the invites are made.  I have a wreath made of balloons to hang on the door ALL WEEK, and it will be all about her!  Do you anything special that you do for birthdays?

Photo from Disney Pixar.

Learning

I wanted this year to be one that was a growing experience for me.  It's already turning out to be that!  But one of my goals was to  learn something and learn to do it well.  My dear hubby got me this for Christmas.  It stopped.my.heart.

 Literally.  I was flabbergasted.  I've been saying for a few years now that I wanted to pick up the violin again, and this time not give up.  To get good at it.  And he searched forever, so he told me, until he found this one.  I love that he took the time to find one so unique.  Isn't it beautiful?

Learning used to be not so fun, but I suddenly have so many things I want to learn and be good at.  This is one of them.

Something I love

I think I alway have and always will love Sunday dinner.  Just something about coming home from church, the house is clean, and there is good food to make.  I think I've struggled getting into my own Sunday dinner-making groove. I always remember being younger and by the time we got home from church, the house smelled like a yummy roast, and homemade rolls.  my favorite thing then, was finding a blanket and curling up in a chair in the living room and falling asleep until it was time to eat.  My mother was and still is an amazing cook.  I wish I felt like I had inherited some of that.  I think I do OK, but man, I love going to my parent's house on Sunday for this reason.  Making it takes all the tastiness out of it!  And then I feel guilty, because I wonder if it's the same for my mom.  We should probably cook for her and Dad, waaaaaaaaaay more often.
Anyways, yesterday, I actually had a plan for Sunday dinner.  And it was yummy.  But I can't take all the credit.  My wonderful hubby cooked the meat, which was, in my opinion, the best part of the meal.
But, the whole afternoon just made me remember how enjoyable Sunday afternoons can be.  Quiet music with no words, slightly foggy outside, warm smells from the kitchen and sitting around the table.  I love this!

Let me Introduce You

This afternoon, Baby E was helping me unload the dishwasher.  I'm busy when I hear her laughing.  I turn around when she yells "Wazowski!"  May I introduce you to...Mike Wazowski.

And from yesterday:  Buzz Lightyear

I love that this girl is so creative.  Can't wait to see what she comes up with next.  

And from lunch today, Baby N couldn't bear to give up a bottle, or the pickle, she had to hold both.  

Love those blue eyes

Pardon Me, do you think I'm that stupid?

Oh my...selling a house sure is a painful process.  I figured it would be, at least a little bit painful, but wow.  Now, for beginners, I know that the market is AWFUL, and we bought high and will have to sell low.  We are trying to do for sale by owner, to try and bring the price down for negotiation and all that fun stuff.  Needless to say the agents are having a hay-day with us.  We get at least two-four calls from agents.  One particular, we knew we wouldn't use.  He just, well, to be frank, he was a, um, a buttocks.  That's a nicer word for it, I guess.  He gave us some awful numbers and I had the fortunate opportunity to be on the phone with this man.  Then my poor Mr. came home from work right then.  I'm sure enjoyed the rant.  Then another agent called this afternoon.  Maybe an hour ago.  She was much nicer, gave us numbers that were a little better, but not quite what we were hoping for.  I know that we won't get what we want, obviously.  Anyway, while I'm listening to her, I'm trying to wipe peanut butter and jelly from Baby N's fingers, when I heard her say, "So, with my fees, I have you coming to the table with at least $36,000.00, so what can help you guys get started with?"  My instant rage came in the blink of an eye.  I tell you, my eyes probably flashed red for a few seconds there.  I fought with everything in me not to say, "Excuse me, do you think I am STUPID?!  I'm not using you!"  Don't get me wrong.  I know they have to make a living, they're just doing their job, but seriously!!  I finally gathered myself enough to say, "We'll let you know. Thanks for your time."

Laugh Out Loud

When was the last time you laughed out loud?  I mean, really laughed.  Like, made you cry laugh?  I will be completely honest.  I don't remember.  I mean, I'm sure there is humor surrounding me all day.  Look at this little beauty I get to hang out with all day.  She is funny.  Really funny. I think I laugh in my head.  I want to change this.  I can already think of things that I could've laughed really hard at, but I don't think I did.  My Baby E (pictured) one day, while following me while I was weeding, picked up a handful of dirt, and ate it.  Then went back for more.  Not long ago, she emptied a brand new bottle of soap because she wanted a princess bubble bath.  And boy did she get one.  I should've laughed more when I came in and she had a bubble hat, and beard and called herself  Santa.  I look back at it and laugh.  I adore her.  She's what I want to be.  Carefree, happy, curious, funny, and she can laugh at herself.  To be a child again, eh?

Twenty Five

    I'm finding that being 25 is becoming a defining age for me.  I can't say that any one thing has made this so, but it seems with every passing week, and month, I'm learning something new about myself.  
I've always said that I know who I am.  I'm a child of God.  I'm a divine daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me and knows me.  I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Saints, and I'm not afraid to say it.  I have a testimony of it that I won't ever deny, can't deny.  If I've ever been questioned about these things, I've found me asking myself if I did really believe these things, and I do.  It always come back to that.  
   But even though these things are, I believe, my spiritual core, it's the only thing I can say about myself.  And not that this is a bad thing.  I'm glad that I have it.  I truly think I'd be lost without it.  I guess, this last year has kind of wakened myself to this realization.  I had my second baby, I went to way too many funerals, and I found out a lot about myself that I didn't like, and found a lot of things I want to work on, while enjoying life, because it's way too short.  Life is a journey, right?  I think it should have meaning.  It should be enjoyable.  I should laugh about things that would make me lose my temper too quickly. I've been told more than once that I need to lighten up, be funny, laugh when I think something is funny.  I should be able to wade a little further than ankle-deep water and not be so afraid that a shark is going to eat me. (That's what I think of when I see the above picture.)  I want to leave a mark.  Do something great.  If nothing else, I want my husband and kids to have a wife and mother that is confident in who she is, and is happy with herself, and life.  Join me.  Tell me what defines you.  What do you like?  What do you want to do with your life?  What do you want to be to others that know you, and those that don't?  I want to learn, I want to be good at something, I want to learn from others and maybe be a person that others can learn from too.  I want to know everything about me, and my family, what makes them tick, and I want to make them know that they are the most important thing in my world, I want my home to feel like home, and I want it to feel that way to others, I want to be the best wife and mom,  I want to live my life, and love it.   This is where I am going to track my progress on becoming the me that the Lord intended for me to be when he sent me here.  I'm going to put things I like, things I don't, things I find that I love, things I want to do.  So, here we go.